Behind the Bluff
Uncover best practices to participate in life on your terms. Every week, hosts Jeff Ford and Kendra Till guide listeners with short conversations on trending wellness topics and share interviews with passionate wellness professionals, our private club leaders, and additional subject matter experts offering valuable tips. Each episode conclusion includes Healthy Momentum, five minutes of inspiration to help you reflect and live differently. Subscribe now and discover the keys to living your greatest active lifestyle.
Behind the Bluff
Wellness Starts with Who You're With | Dr. Lori Whatley
Dr. Lori Whatley shares her expertise on the intersection of mental wellness and digital life, exploring how we can build stronger, healthier relationships in our increasingly disconnected world. Through scientific research and practical advice, she reveals how meaningful connections impact our health, happiness, and longevity.
• True friendship means being present for others in both good and bad times
• Different friends serve different purposes in our lives, with three close friends being the ideal number
• Loneliness is a universal problem underlying many mental health challenges
• Research from Harvard and Blue Zones confirms that social connection directly impacts longevity
• Technology should enhance rather than replace in-person relationships
• Creating intentional boundaries with technology improves our ability to connect
• "Be where your feet are" - presence is the foundation of meaningful relationships
• Stepping outside your comfort zone creates opportunities for new connections
• Wellness encompasses mental, physical, and spiritual well-being
• Community settings like Palmetto Bluff offer numerous opportunities for connection
Find Dr. Lori Whatley on social media or purchase her book "Happier Together" on Amazon and at major bookstores.
Are you ready to live an active lifestyle? Welcome to Behind the Bluff, where we believe every moment of your life is an opportunity to pursue wellness on your terms is an opportunity to pursue wellness on your terms. I'm your host, jeff Ford, and today's guest is Dr Lori Whatley, a licensed clinical psychologist, global speaker and expert on the intersection of mental wellness and digital life. She's the author of the newly released book Happier Together, which explores the science of human connection and how we can build stronger, healthier relationships in this disconnected world. Whether you're looking to deepen your friendships, set boundaries with technology or simply feel less alone, dr Watley brings clarity, compassion and practical tools to the table which we're going to be sitting at today. This conversation will change how you connect with others and with yourself. Lori, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for having me here today. This is going to be fun. I'm excited to share with you the different ideas in my book, and thank you for reading it.
Speaker 1:You are so welcome, lori. I have been meaning to get you in here since I read Happier Together in one sitting and I love the practicality of it For me. I immediately started thinking about my relationships and how I could do better, and I also thought about wow technology and how we use that. It influences just how we socially connect these days. So I can't wait to dive in further. Lori, before we get into some of the content that spoke to me in the book and I know will spoke to our listeners, I wanted to have you provide us with a foundation in friendship. In the very first section of Happier Together, you mentioned each friendship is special and each friend plays a different role in our lives. How would you define a friend and what are a few of the different roles friends play in our lives?
Speaker 2:That is a great question, jeff. So I feel like relationships are the foundation for a healthy life for all of us. We're all built for connection and when we are disconnected we simply are not living our optimal life, we're not living our best life. So, to get back to your question, a friend I think a friend, a true friend, is the one who walks in the door when the others are walking out. So that's how you know you've got a real friend.
Speaker 2:I think it's the people who love us and they love us warts and all. They see the good and the bad and they embrace it all. They're present in the good times and the bad times. And I think we can have friends who address different needs in our lives, just like we can be a friend who addresses different needs. So you might have a friend that you go to when you're seeking wisdom, when you're making a tough decision. You might have a friend that you call on Saturday to go have fun. And it's not always the same friend, right? So there are different people that fill a different role in the friendship category in your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's almost like having different individuals who can speak to us in different ways in different life moments, to support us goes a long way, Because I feel like I always get different things from my significant other, versus my colleagues at work and versus that friend who I know will walk in when others are running away in situations I'm falling into. What role do you think is most important If we were? You named a bunch of different roles that friends serve At the heart of friendship? How does a friend serve us if we were to just pull the layer back and keep it simple?
Speaker 2:Well, I want to say that to have a good friend, you must also be a good friend, and so being able to serve your friends is also important. But when you ask that question, what type of friend serves us? Well, again, I think it depends on where you are in your life at that moment. Let's say you're grieving, you've had a loss. You really want a person who can just sit and listen and not necessarily try to fix you or fix the problem, which obviously cannot be fixed but just someone who's going to be there for you and sit with you in your grief. And you know, it's really neat when you find that sort of friend, that you meet and you feel the energy and you immediately know, like this is my person.
Speaker 1:This is my person, that.
Speaker 2:I want to do life with, and you grow that friendship. It's such a blessing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, having that moment of connection with someone, the way you're smiling and describing it, we've all had those moments and it's almost like how can we garner those deeper and go further, and I know you'll share some practical strategies on that today. So, first and foremost, what inspired you to write Happier Together now? Was there a personal event or a shift in society that triggered you to say, hey, I need to write this book?
Speaker 2:Well, that's a great question, Jeff, and I believe that our world universally is lonelier than ever. If you look in Japan, in the UK, they actually have ambassadors of loneliness.
Speaker 1:Ambassadors of loneliness.
Speaker 2:They have created these positions to address the loneliness, and it is a big problem. And some people don't even realize that that is the problem that they're lonely. They think, okay, well, I'm dealing with anxiety or I'm dealing with depression. They don't understand that underneath that, the root problem is they're lonely, they're disconnected and they're not engaged. So what inspired me to write the book was the fact that I would see clients as a therapist and I would realize, wow, our world is really lonely.
Speaker 1:This is a problem that all of my clients are having Very universal with the people that you were having discussions with and helping through therapy.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and then you know so addressing. I had written a book before this about technology and the problems it causes, which it causes us to isolate, and this book is about the solution to that problem, because it really doesn't serve us to only talk about the problem, we need to also talk about the light. And this book is about the solution to that problem, because it really doesn't serve us to only talk about the problem, we need to also talk about the solution.
Speaker 2:And this is the solution. Being connected is the solution for our world.
Speaker 1:That's a great pause. There's a lot of obstacles that get in our way of being able to connect. We have to be solutions focused in order to improve these feelings of loneliness that we all experience, and even though someone may seek a higher level of care for their loneliness, there are fragments in everybody's day where they feel lonely. So I think, through understanding our relationships better and how to cultivate connection with those people who are important to our in our lives, it can minimize what that loneliness influences with our behaviors and our routines. I would imagine.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, you know better than me, so let's go ahead, go further here. Lori, you cite research on how friendships impact longevity and overall health. I'm a big believer that social connection influences our health and how long we're on this planet. We've talked about it once before on this podcast. Which findings surprised you when you did research for Happier Together?
Speaker 2:Well, I have been gathering research for a very long time decades around this. I did my doctoral project on it a very long time ago and, as a clinician, get to see this, have a front row seat to seeing the loneliness and the disconnect. But there are also many other experts out there that are doing research around this. I don't know if you've heard about the Blue Zone.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes.
Speaker 2:With Dan I never say his name, right, Buechner and he has done some brilliant work and it's really interesting because I think we gravitate towards Blue Zones. I think Palmetto.
Speaker 1:Bluff is a Blue Zone, yes, yes, and we could even improve it. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:You've done a big. You've done such a wonderful job at improving it. Oh well, you've done a big. You have done such a wonderful job at improving it.
Speaker 1:Oh well, thank you. Team effort no doubt.
Speaker 2:You know you have turned this into a blue zone and you know whether you realize that you were, whether you did that consciously or not, and I think people are gravitating towards that because we all know internally, and maybe not even consciously, that we need that. We need what you find in the blue zones. So Dan identified the attributes of becoming an octogenarian, and one is connection with other humans. And think about it these exercise classes that you have developed. People are in line to get in them.
Speaker 2:There's a waiting list always to get in them Because of course, the exercise is wonderful, but the connection that people make in these classes with you all, the staff, and with each other and I see that you all really foster helping people make connections and there are some people that that is the only thing they do socially.
Speaker 1:Here at Pulp Meta Bluff.
Speaker 2:Yes, they tend maybe to isolate, but they will go to an exercise class. And what a blessing. They make friends, they move their bodies. Of course we know how that works so well.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So Dan did a lot of research, also Harvard. Harvard has done a lot of research around this, around social disconnect, and they found that it is associated with many major illnesses strokes, heart disease. Yeah, they know at Harvard. The research around this that they found is that good relationships make us happier and that make us healthier. There's one project they've done and it's been ongoing for 83 years, isn't that?
Speaker 1:amazing 83 years on happiness and its relationship to longevity yes.
Speaker 2:And one of the elements of this is to be connected to other humans. You know, if we take this down just to the bare, you know the grassroots connection is everything. It's how we're wired. We must connect.
Speaker 1:Even in your book you stripped it down to Maslow's hierarchy of need, and that is just completely true. We get so caught up in these other aspects of health and longevity that we forget how powerful social connection is. And just to go back to Blue Zones, their research is around those Maui groups and how you get paired with two or three people at the beginning of your life and those are your relationships for the rest of your life and these folks are living into their 90s hundreds. You mentioned octogenarian and that just means someone who lives very long time, correct? So it is remarkable the impact that social connection has.
Speaker 2:Absolutely Another person. He is a professor at Harvard. I'm sure you've heard of him, arthur Brooks.
Speaker 1:Yes, he's written several books.
Speaker 2:Yes, and he just did one with Oprah and, um well, I just think his research and his work is amazing and he believes friendships, which you know connections. I heard him on a podcast yesterday and he says it's the cornerstone for a happy, healthy life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and well, I'm so glad we took a pause there to go into the credibility behind this, because I think when you talk about relationships, folks can tune it out a little bit. We prioritize other aspects of living and I'm glad that we're getting to the bottom of some facts so that we can move forward, live healthy and create these deeper connections. So do you believe there's an ideal number of close friends someone should aim for? I?
Speaker 2:do. I had a mentor that just was wonderful and she shared with me back when I first became a therapist in my 30s, quite a while back. She shared with me that three close friends is really the number that we should shoot for and everyone else should be surface. And of course I thought, hmm, that's really. But as I age and I do life and watch others do life, I'm beginning to agree with her. I think we have many surface relationships but it's exhausting.
Speaker 2:If you do friendship well and you try to maintain a close friendship. Three people is a lot and you don't want to have. Let's say you have something going on in your life and talking to one person about it is a lot and it actually re-traumatizes us if we just keep talking about it over and over. So, having that conversation with one friend and them supporting you through it is a very therapeutic process. But having that same conversation with 10 or 12 is exhausting and traumatic.
Speaker 1:It most likely makes you overthink the situation you're in as well, so you never get to a place of potentially moving forward. I would imagine.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You know you stay in the negative energy and you relive it over and over as opposed to moving towards the solution.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was giggling earlier because when your face explained more than three keep them all at the surface it can sound a bit cold. It does. But what I'm hearing and as you elaborate further, being able to put the quality energy into those three people is way more important than trying to be known by a million people, because we all know social media influencers is a big thing in my generation and when we're after likes and after looking a certain way in the public eye, that can actually make us feel more lonely than it does connected. I have heard that.
Speaker 2:I actually have some influencers who are clients and I have heard them say I feel so lonely. I have thousands and thousands of friends. But, that is not the same as having in-person connection and in-person friends. It's not the same at all. The chemistry in our brain is not a positive chemistry when we are not having in-person conversations like you and I are having. It's interesting when I do these podcasts you and I talked about this I don't often do them in person.
Speaker 2:Thanks to technology. We do them, but is that really thanks to technology? Cause this is really neat to sit down and be across from you and us to be able to look at each other and talk.
Speaker 1:And we have the non-verbals and. I, I love the face-to-face and it's, it's such a good point that technology has taken us in a direction where, even with podcasts, it's it's all about zoom and most of them are not face-to-face.
Speaker 2:Right and I want to say technology is wonderful. I don't want to beat technology up constantly, but balance is everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Well, put In part two of Happier Together how to be your own best friend, Lori, this struck me as I was just reviewing and preparing for today. You said unless we're brave enough and muster the courage to look inward, we can't determine what needs to change. How important is it to look inward when it comes to friendship? Important is it to look inward when it comes to friendship, improving our relationships? How can we strengthen our relationship with ourselves?
Speaker 2:That's a great question, jeff, and you know, I believe that for us to be a good friend, we must first for us to be a good friend to someone else. We must first be able to be a good friend to ourselves, and for us to do that we have to know ourself and we have to have an intimate connection with ourself. Now, the beauty of a friendship is that it can be like a mirror. Now, the beauty of a friendship is that it can be like a mirror, so that other person is somewhat holding a mirror before you and a loving, kind friend can actually help you see the places where you have bumps, where you have places that need to be improved Right, and we learn so much in relationship about that. We learn about giving and not just taking, we learn about how to be a friend. But to do all of that, the springboard for healthy friendships is to first know yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. If we're not looking inward, it's hard to be all we can be for those people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's scary for a lot of people to look inward. There are a lot of people who spend a lot of time avoiding themselves but, everywhere you go, there you are.
Speaker 1:That's so well said, lori. Let's discuss technology a bit further. I like that you took a step back and made sure that we weren't beating it up too hardcore, because I think that's like anything in life Things evolve, our environments change and we need to learn to adapt to our environments, especially in this arena of our lives. So you mentioned in Happier Together, we can use technology to enhance rather than replace. Can you elaborate on that?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I think we have to all agree that technology makes our life much easier and it's here to stay. It's not going anywhere, so we have to make friends with it and we can do that through balance and, you know, having very intentional boundaries around our phone usage Because, let's say, for instance, we are doing mindless scrolling. We can while away a whole day scrolling and not even realize it.
Speaker 1:We've all been there.
Speaker 2:Going down a rabbit hole If we are intentional and we let go of mindless scrolling and replace it with mindful scrolling then I think, that's one way that we balance technology in our lives. Turn off notifications. I can't tell you how many times I sit down to maybe send an email and I get so many pop-ups until my brilliant kids of your generation taught me hey, mom, you can turn off all these notifications and not be distracted, because I'm the kind that I have to go over here and tend to everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, here's another problem that just popped up. Let me deal with that and I let go of the first thing that I sat down to work on.
Speaker 1:Constantly putting out the fires with those notifications.
Speaker 2:And one other really good thing, I think, is only using the phone in certain parts of your house. So, for example, at night when we go to bed, we put our phones downstairs on the counter, we plug them in to charge downstairs.
Speaker 1:You and your family? Do you and Daryl? Yes, my husband and.
Speaker 2:I do that my kids. We don't allow phones at the table, so when we have family time no phones, and it's really fun We'll stack them up at the end of the table and the person that reaches for their phone or tries to sneak their phone out they have to buy dinner if we're out somewhere.
Speaker 1:And they don't really enjoy doing that.
Speaker 2:We're a big family, we're expensive to feed. So you know, a meal is such a wonderful time to learn how to socially connect with other people. And when I'm out, as you and I talked about, and I'm in a restaurant and I see a family hand, a child, a screen, to entertain them.
Speaker 2:I understand, I understand you want to have a good meal, but you're missing a wonderful opportunity to help your child learn socialization and how to have conversations with other people One of the things that people in human relations are saying now, as far as interviews and whatnot in these big companies, this generation that's coming in, they can't make eye contact, they can't do.
Speaker 1:So even the generation below me, they can't do the simple things that are essential in a job interview.
Speaker 2:So they're having to retrain them and teach them.
Speaker 1:There's almost going to be nonverbal training and cues and how to carry yourself when you are face-to-face, versus the other way around learning technology.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and I want to say this If you think that you are not addicted to your phone or do not use it too much, I would suggest leaving your phone at home. Let's do a little experiment Leave your phone at home, go and run some errands and see what that feels like for you.
Speaker 1:I love the challenge Lori.
Speaker 2:It is a scare. I've done it myself. It's scary, you feel naked, you feel lost, but if you learn to do that regularly, you feel liberated.
Speaker 1:Ooh, yeah. So even though you may feel naked and lost in the moment, there'll be liberation at the end of it.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. It's a signal that, hey, I don't have balance here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's such a great actionable tip.
Speaker 2:So let's go ahead, keep that train going on tactical ways that our listeners can improve their relationships. Are there any rituals or check-ins you recommend for sustaining strong friendships over Now? I will say this this is when technology is a good thing, because I think it's wonderful to use texting to drop your friend a note. Hey, just wanted to say I hope you have a great day today. Send them a smiley face, that's it. You know, I wouldn't try to have a deep conversation over text. We all know how that can really go south.
Speaker 1:Yeah, anything important face-to-face usually better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but just to check in or just to say, hey, do you want to grab a cup of coffee tomorrow?
Speaker 1:I've always found one of the best things we can do occasionally is just tell our friends we're thinking of them and just like when they cross your mind.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and isn't that interesting when they cross your mind? Absolutely, and isn't that interesting when they cross your mind? I have so many times someone's crossed my mind. I've reached out and they've said wow, I really needed this right now. I was really going through something right now.
Speaker 1:Isn't it interesting, how the universe lines us up 100%, and kind of from that, have you found that with your three closest relationships you're a bit more perceptive when they need you Absolutely. Yeah absolutely.
Speaker 2:And they will say I had this one girlfriend who lives in another state and she'll say I can't believe that you just reached out to me. How did you know?
Speaker 1:There's like an ESP to it.
Speaker 2:I can't explain how I knew, but she crossed my mind and I think, if we become very intentional about acting on that, it's really important for our friendships and grows them and maintains them in a healthy way.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Your book includes actionable tips. I know this is tough. If you had to. I know this is tough. If you had to nail it down to one topic, one habit for someone to practice today, aligned with this topic, what would that habit be?
Speaker 2:Well, it's not hard, because it is something that I feel so strongly about, and it is being where your feet are.
Speaker 1:Being where your feet are.
Speaker 2:Be present, Be present in your life, and to do that you have to put your phone away Because the multitasking it opens so many tabs in your brain, Our brains they're not intended to have so many tabs open and we're not actually able to be present.
Speaker 2:So let's say I'm meeting you for coffee and I'm sitting. I have my phone sitting on the and I'm looking at it. Although I'm talking to you, I'm still looking over at it. It just sends that message to the other person. Like you, you're not so important that I can't put my phone away, and we need to really make our relationships important enough to put our digital devices away.
Speaker 1:So ensure the number one habit you can do when you are with someone. It's like be with them, and I notice just through the many relationships we have where you are using the example of classes and how one of the biggest benefits and I'm so glad you brought it up is the social connection, not the actual physical benefit of the class.
Speaker 1:You can notice members who are better at being present with other members. And then I would tell you, lori, complete humility, because of the bounty of things we have going on here, I constantly can tell I'm not giving sometimes a member my full attention or a colleague, and I think we can all do a better job of recognizing, when we're checking that phone or when we're just distracted, you carve out time for that important person in your life. Presence is all they want in return too.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. But I think you're really good at that. I see you. I see you talking and having meaningful conversations with members. You're really good at connecting with them and I think you've trained your staff to do the same thing. They always ask interesting questions in class or they'll come up and say hey, what is your name? Obviously I'm not there very often, so they don't know my name, but they're always so good about coming and introducing me. They're interested, they're present, they want to know, like, who are you in my class?
Speaker 1:Well, that's such a good example, even for our listeners, that when you're in a new environment, introduce yourself, don't be scared. Be there with those new faces. That can be intimidating for a lot of folks and, because we've stumbled on it, when someone's like in environments that they're not fully comfortable with, it's like not those closest three, three friends where everything's natural, individuals in those situations where it may be a surface level relationship, it might not lead to that long-term relationship, but how do you get folks more comfortable in those situations?
Speaker 2:Well, I'll tell you so. In my book I had talked about doing something that scares you every day. And in fact, one of our members here, audrey Basher, she stopped me and she said she read my book and she said what are you doing today that makes you scared?
Speaker 1:She stopped you, that was so cute.
Speaker 2:I'm like you read my book. I love it, but I want to encourage everyone to step out of their comfort zone, because that's where growth is. It doesn't mean that it's easy, but you think about it. You know my husband well. He's shy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's a shy man yeah.
Speaker 2:It's hard. I'm a chatty Kathy, imagine that and so opposites attract, so for me, going into a class and being chatty is nothing. But for him it's harder, but it's fun to encourage people. And your classes are interactive? Yes, they are.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think that brings them out, because I know for him he loves your classes and I know that a lot of it is the socialization. I mean he enjoys the exercise. But I think he has made some really good friends in those classes that he goes to lunch with and he you know. So there's a whole exercise arena here that has become a social and shy people like him go and they feel welcomed, and I think it begins with your staff introducing themselves, and then that just starts you know, starts the funnel.
Speaker 1:It's kind of that culture and that. That's incredible to hear. I I mean just so grateful for you you sharing that, and it's a good example of community and what community can do for each of us. Palmetto bluff is a special, special place and we talk a lot about the beauty of it. We can create community regardless of the amount of palm trees that we have in our lives or the beautiful waterways.
Speaker 1:So, true, and it's such an important pause there. Tell us more from your perspective as a member here. What's the community done for your life?
Speaker 2:I love the diversity here. You know, obviously I'm from the South and I say like I'm probably the only person here that talks like this, although now there are more people, they're coming?
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're coming, but I have loved living here with people from other parts of the country who don't sound like me and who I have learned so much from. That has been wonderful for me Having so many choices. Like I said, this is like a blue zone. I can go to book club, exercise my brain, I can go to Mahjong, I can go to Canass. I mean anything that you could possibly want to do. They have the shooting club, they have anything you could imagine golf, pickleball, it's here and you meet a different group at each place. Yeah, you meet a different group at each place, yeah, and and so you have.
Speaker 1:You have a lot of different sets of friends, and that's kind of fun Cause you probably have some of those friends play different roles in your life, the different activities in your life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I have friends here that I'll go sit down with and, um, have a, you know, have a hard, long conversation, maybe something going on in my life. Or another friend who I say I want to go for a walk, I need to move my body, you want to walk with me. Or a friend who I say you want to go spend the day out on a boat, let's go play together. So you find that you have it all covered here.
Speaker 2:And I think everyone feels that way covered here, and I think everyone feels that way. The community that you build here is. You know, Daryl and I have lived in many, many communities, but the thing that made us decide that we wanted to have one home and it be here, was the community.
Speaker 1:Wow, wow. Well, thanks for allowing us to get a little personal there. I love just hearing your perspective, lori. This has been an absolute, absolute pleasure. I feel like we could bring you back on to talk specifically about technology and further ways to utilize it in a healthy way in our lives. So stay tuned, we can keep that conversation going. Final question what does wellness mean, mean to you?
Speaker 2:That's a wonderful question. I think it is a question that, as we age, is very important. It should be forefront for us. We need to really consider our wellness. We also need to teach our children about wellness young, so that it's something that is part of their lives always and they make space for it. For me, it includes mental, physical, spiritual well-being. So having the three of those all in balance is essential. You know, you can't be well if you're not mentally healthy or you're not physically healthy. Healthy or you're not physically healthy. And being well often involves choice, healthy lifestyle choices. And that's where you come in, because I feel like that's what you're doing here, that's what you're introducing here and that's what you're a master at teaching us how to make healthy choices in our food choices, in our social choices and in our physical moving our bodies.
Speaker 1:I'm just stunned to really hear that the vision that we have for our small piece of Palmetto Buff is moving in a direction that is creating social connection and the buy-in that you described today. So just thank you so much for sharing and kind of connecting those dots in your book today. For listeners who have not read Happier Together, I highly encourage it. We scratched the surface on the practical strategies that are in this book, and for me it was a book that was very digestible and powerful because it's split up with quotes, bullet points, and that's the type of guy that I am. I like to get something from the books I read, and so I highly encourage you to check out Happier Together, lori, any place online, anywhere folks can find you, to learn more about Happier Together and the work you're doing.
Speaker 2:You can actually. Well, interestingly enough, I have social media accounts, dr Lori Whatley, I learned. If you can't beat them, join them. So, dr Lori Whatley, on Facebook, on Instagram, and my little team has just introduced me to TikTok.
Speaker 1:No way.
Speaker 2:I'm learning about that. My kids are mortified but we're having fun. And also, you can buy my book on Amazon and any major bookstores you can order.
Speaker 1:Outstanding Well. Thanks so much, lori.
Speaker 2:Thank you. This has been an honor and I just enjoy all of the positive energy that you introduce into our world, because I think that is an important part of wellness.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, you're very welcome. Wellness yeah Well, you're very welcome. Listeners, feel free to hang out with me for a few more minutes and we'll give you a dose of healthy momentum for the rest of your week. What a timely episode with Dr Lori Whatley as we wrap up the Independence Day holiday this past weekend.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you found yourself spending time with friends, creating social connections, and something that we discussed all around today, that was highlighted for me in Lori's book Happier Together, is when she wrote we spend lots of time on our jobs, our homes, our bodies, but when it comes to our relationships, we have a tendency to shortchange our time investment. Do you relate to that? It's funny Around the holidays, our investment with our families, with our friends, definitely increases, but why don't we invest on the regular? Why don't we have a plan for cultivating these deeper relationships with our three closest friends? Maybe it's because the world glorifies productivity and if you're like me, you like to be productive, you thrive off achievement, so naturally this leads to short-changing important things in your life, like your relationships. And we don't do this because relationships don't matter, but we do this because relationships are quiet, are quiet.
Speaker 1:I am laughing here and struggling to continue, because every day I show up to work there is something screaming for my attention, whether it's a facility issue or a team member that I do need to serve. Things pop out of nowhere and we all experience this. We all have things screaming for our attention, like deadlines, projects or especially our inboxes. Gosh Lori spoke about that with notifications. I mean, if you were listening and don't have notifications turned off at this point in time, that might be a good next step for you. And as we think about these distractions, these things that pop up out of nowhere, the fire alarms we don't have enough left to give to our relationships, the tired minutes at the end of the day, the rushed check-ins, the occasional we should catch up is all a result of not listening to the quiet relationships that are important behind the scenes.
Speaker 1:But here's the truth Relationships don't thrive on leftovers. I gathered that from just our example of sitting down at a dinner table undistracted. Your relationships cannot thrive on leftovers. They grow with intention, and time has to always be looked at as more of a resource, because it's limited and where you spend your time is a signal of what you value. I find that the most profound episodes that I have the opportunity to participate in are because this is something that I'm working on as well.
Speaker 1:I know that deep down my heart and my time doesn't always signal exactly what I value, and, in the long run, it's the people we walk through life with that will define the quality of our days, not the tasks that we check off. I mean, it sure does feel good when you check off your planner for the entire day, but was there a task in your daily schedule that related to relationships? So maybe today it's a phone call, maybe it's putting the screen down, being present, as Dr Lori Whatley explained. Maybe it's planning that dinner you've been putting off with one of your three friends. Whatever it looks like for you, show up Because at the end of the day, time spent with people we love is never wasted. That brings us to the end of this week's episode. I want to thank you for taking the time to learn with us today, grow with us and, until next week, remember to actively participate in life on your terms.
